More funny quotes from microsoft.com

Wednesday, January 19th, 2005

I’m having so much fun reading microsoft.com, I’ve decided to share some more with you:

Learn how Internet Explorer is setting the new standard in privacy, reliability, and flexibility on the Web.
(source)

Q.How do I turn off pop-up ads? A. This fix is for advanced users because it may affect your Web browsing experience.
(source)

Pop-up advertisements occur when the administrator of a Web site adds code to the page you are visiting, making the ads open on your machine when you first visit the site, or at other times while you view the site.
(source)

Or when you use Internet Explorer and some asshat installs adware on your PC through it.. then you’ll get it 24/7, courtesy of MS.

Reliability You Can Count On — On Internet Explorer
(source)

Continuous protection improves Internet browsing safety by guarding more than 50 ways spyware can enter your PC. […] Microsoft researchers quickly develop methods to counteract these threats, and updates are automatically downloaded to your PC so you stay up to date.
— On their anti-spyware tool (source)

As opposed to just creating products that are secure in the first place. Gotta love it.

Spyware expertise you can rely on.
— On their anti-spyware tool (source)
Whoops, forgot to mention that they just bought the product from some other company and that they have no real expertise on spyware yet!

Automatically stay up to date. Updates to counteract new spyware are automatically downloaded to your PC
— On their anti-spyware tool (source)
Oh my, just like the spyware it’s trying to protect you from! Wauzers.

Microsoft Embraces Interoperability. Find out how Microsoft product interoperability helps you reduce the cost of maintaining existing systems and gives you flexibility for the future.
(source)

The courts seem to disagree on the level of Microsofts interoperatibility.

As an industry leader in the design and development of innovative computer technology, Microsoft’s efforts are reflected in a range of
(source)

As Microsoft themselves have admitted time and time again, their motto is “Embrace and extend”. Nothing innovative ever came out of Microsoft, except for annoying paperclips that won’t go away. Name one thing Microsoft has invented that wasn’t already invented by somebody else? Their GUI? Stolen from Xerox. DotNet? Idea stolen from Java. Etcetera.

The information technology industry is united in supporting public policy that maximizes choice and opportunity for governments around the world. To this end, Microsoft works with the Initiative for Software Choice and the Business Software Alliance to promote: Neutral public procurement rules that allow governments to select software that offers them the greatest value.
(source)

I’m not even going to comment on this.

Well, that’s enough. Just thought I’d share a good laugh I had with you.